Listen, you probably picked up Blue in the parking lot of Melvin’s Hardware because he was a unique cat. I get that. But I miss my cat. I’m willing to pay you $200 for my cat, and I won’t ask any questions or say anything, just bring my cat back. Also, if you just want to let me have my cat back, drop him off in the parking lot of Melvin’s Hardware store, he’ll know how to find his way home.

If you want to call me directly, I have a line you can text/call me at (leave a VM): 3366982100